Raising Peaceful Children: Parenting By Choice...not Chance!
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Raising Peaceful Children: Parenting By Choice...not Chance!

Parenting By Choice...not Chance invites you to KNOW YOUR VALUES, LIVE YOUR VALUES AND TEACH YOUR VALUES. 
In 2013 I was invited to participate in a 30 day Blogging Challenge by Lesa Townsend, a specialist in business and marketing.  At the time I thought I’d be writing on the topic of Listening to Children, which had been an important focus of my work with parents and in the classroom.   However, after much pondering, another topic came to me and that was: RAISING PEACEFUL CHILDREN.

I found it to be a very inspiring time, having to create a blog posting every day! When the deadline was in front of me on a daily basis, I found myself having to look so closely at how I had created the connections I had with my own children. In addition, I took a deeper look at what had allowed me to work successfully with many challenging children in the classroom.

The “ways” which had become second nature to me were revealed day by day AND blog by blog! Since that time, RAISING PEACEFUL CHILDREN has become the focus on my work.  During those 30 days of blogging, a new underlining theme evolved and that was Parenting By Choice…not Chance.

So, today, I’d like to explore what that actually means.


Parenting by Choice…not Chance is the result of over 40 years as a parent as well as working with children as an educator. As a parent and teacher I would reflect often on how any given day…could  be even better than the last.   And in doing this, I realized that each day of parenting or teaching is a CHOICE.  A choice about how to “be” in our role as parent /teacher and how that “beingness” came forth as I interacted with children.

As I continued to reflect on this idea of Parenting by CHOICE…not Chance, I found it came down to a central theme, which was: 

                  LIVING YOUR VALUES!
                        TEACHING YOUR VALUES!

When you know your values, you create a solid foundation for your parenting. You create a focus for your time and energy.  You articulate that which is important to you and then you can live those values as well as teach them to your children. This allows for everyone to be moving forward in the same direction.

AND within this framework, as your LIVE YOUR VALUES, you can further explore your values as an individual and your desires. In addition, when you are happily pursuing your dreams and passions, you model that to your children. When you know yourself, in turn you can support your children to know who they are and live being their unique individual self.

A values-based family sees the “big picture” and knows what is important to them and allows that knowingness to guide their life day by day.  In addition, a family, with a strong foundation has energy and understanding to nurture each family member in being their best self and allows them to Live by Choice, not Chance!

In Values-Based Parenting, you take time to explore your values, align with them, and then learn to “teach” them to your children. 

So, as we consider these ideas in the realm of parenting, I invite you to consider your response to the following 3 questions:


Questions for you to consider:  “Feel” your initial response!   

1. What are the top 4 values that guide your parenting today?

2. Do your children know and live these values?

3.  How well do all of you live by those values? 

If this approach interests you and you'd like to know more,  I invite you to join me for a Complimentary Introduction to VALUES-BASED PARENTING on November 30, Monday.

Click here for further information and/or register:

In January I will begin a 5 week Teleclass on VALUES-BASED PARENTING. For information on this class, please click here:  Click Here! 




is the theme for my blog tomorrow.  Every interaction with a child, makes an impression AND a difference.  KNOW that if you relate to what I’m saying you are also welcome to join in on the Complimentary Introduction and/or the Class. These principles can be applied by grandparents, teachers, child-care workers, nurses and doctors.

Happy Parenting....



6 Comments to Raising Peaceful Children: Parenting By Choice...not Chance!:

Comments RSS
Lesa Townsend on Friday, November 20, 2015 6:07 PM
You've hit on a very important concept here, Sharon, the idea of parenting by choice. So many people become parents without consciously choosing it (my own included) and as a result, do a disservice to those kids by not providing them the guidance they need. Even without learning anything else about how to parent, simply choosing it can have a profound affect on your effectiveness as a parent. I wish mine had made a conscious decision to become parents; I know my life would have been very different.
Reply to comment
Sharon on Friday, November 20, 2015 8:01 PM
Lesa: I so enjoyed your comment. You opened up an entirely new area if focus to be considered and that being actually choosing to become a parent by choice. I think you are so correct that many do not consciously make the decision to bring a child into the world. I would love to see parenting classes encouraged for expectant parents. Thank you for sharing.

Pernilla Lillarose on Friday, November 20, 2015 7:31 PM
Dear Sharon, what a beautiful offering. Even though I don't have children myself, I once was a child :) and can only imagine if my parents had knows what you share here. In my case, I had to figure all out on my own and find my deepest core values and start living them. When parents know that before the child grows up and create a container for them to 'soak' in those values, I know the child will have the best opportunity to start their life. And it will give them access to find their own values too. And on it goes. I think we are getting closer to living from our Heart where our core values and wisdom reside and when we learn to see beyond our blind spots and inherited conditioning, our Prajna - Heart Wisdom - can burst through and the world will become a different place.
Reply to comment
sharon on Friday, November 20, 2015 8:07 PM
Thank you Pernilla for your comment. That is wonderful that you were able to find your core values on your own...I think you are not alone in that respect. I so enjoyed the image that you created with the idea that parents create a container for the child to "soak" in. That is SO true! I so agree with you that we are coming to the time when many are coming to their "Heart Wisdom". And when that happens to a greater degree, the planet will blossom!

Jeannette on Saturday, November 21, 2015 11:01 AM
I agree that knowing yourself is key to conscious parenting. Unfortunately this week I witnessed a teacher treat a child in an unkind manner and I could see that her fear of her own vulnerability was behind her desire to control this child. I've also noticed that teachers who are calm keep a peaceful classroom and the children are content. Thank you for your post, such an important topic.
Reply to comment
Sharon on Saturday, November 21, 2015 1:04 PM
Thank you Jeannette for your comment. Unfortunately, behind an adult's unkind actions, is their own pain. I, too, witnessed unkind actions toward a child some years back. This experience touched me deeply. I day after this happened I was "gifted" with a poem, which I'll share in tomorrow's blog. And isn't it a JOY to observe a peaceful classroom and contented children. Thank you for your contribution to this discussion Jeannette.

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