Today, July 21st, I sit here at my computer, looking out the window on the backyard where the birds of every kind are enjoying their gnoshing. Finches, sparrows, titmice are at the bird feeder hanging from the apple tree. On the ground, underneath the feeder, the wrens are searching for their favorite insects. A very peaceful experience for all.
Twenty feet away at the hummingbird feeder hanging from the patio is the hot and fiery battle of the hummingbirds going on. This battle continues daily as the Alpha male we've named Bobby, chases all the others off as they come in for their fair share of the food. I noticed that at times, when I was in the yard near the feeder, the female birds would come in for a drink and the Alpha male didn't bother them. So, I began going out, standing near the feeder and calling for the hummingbirds to come and drink. This worked for several days. So, today, I tried it again. It worked for about 30 seconds and then the Alpha male, Bobby, flew over the patio and took a dive very near me and the peaceful eating bird at the feeder took off...as did I. SO, daily this is the scene in the yard.
Isn't this the way with our children? Some so easily and effortlessly get along with others, and then there are others they will always find something to be unhappy with in the situation.
What can one do?
Years ago I learned a very important lesson in regards to this. I was working at a wonderful private elementary school, where teachers were devoted to excellence. During our recess breaks many would meet in the lunch room for a quick snack and conversation. During this time, I would sometimes bring up an issue I was working on with a particular child, seeing if any of the other teachers would have a suggestion as to how best to remedy a situation.
Let me describe two such situations: One little girl was getting into other children's desks and taking things and another little boy was often bullying other children. What I noticed was that the teachers really weren't open to looking at solutions. They really wanted to just accept the child as that was the way he/she was...and wouldn't change.
So, I learned a very important principle from that experience, and that is that one must be able to see and hold a GREATER possibility for a child before solutions to a challenge can even be discussed. In addition, I learned the importance of setting intentions for the best for a child.
If no intention is set, then the desired outcome in unspecified! An unspecified outcome leads to unspecified results. Without any specified results being anticipated, unfortunately and unintentionally, the INTENTION that is actually being set is the status quo! And therefore NO change takes place! Many times our unconscious intention is to just expect the outcome to be the same as it’s always been in the past.
So, if you are having a challenge with your children, similar to what I'm seeing with the hummingbirds, I do invite you to hold in your mind's eye, the possibility for change, the possibility of cooperation and the possibility for harmony.
Holding an INTENTION
for the positive experience of a child
is one of the greatest GIFTS you can offer!