LISTENING 2 CHILDREN OF ALL AGES!
I’ve been writing the blog now for 16 days. Each day I want the content to be note-worthy, important to the reader! Daily I ponder “What should the focus be for my next blog”? Sometimes, the topic is obvious! Sometimes, it’s not! Ideas come and go! I continue my thought process. Daily, I want something NEW, something DIFFERENT, something to catch everyone’s attention. For Day 17 several subject entered my mind but no decision was made! My considerations continued.
And then I came back to the work I’ve written on for years, “LISTENING TO CHILDREN”! In fact, I wrote a column for four years for the West County Gazette in Forestville California on about the importance of the act of listening! And I decided, yes, this will be my topic for today! Listening truly is so important. It is so important because everyone needs to be heard, and that certainly includes children!
Listening can be a part of some of the most important events in your child's life. Here are some examples:
• Listening to the infant as her eyes focus on the first rain!
• Listening to the four-year old feeling snow for the first time!
• Listening to the child who just learned to ride her bike!
• Listening to the crying toddler who's ice cream cone just fell!
• Listening to the young women who has just fallen in love!
• Listening to the teen that just lost his job!
In addition to the special times like those listed above opportunities arise around us all the time where listening is needed! However, in this busy busy world, sometimes, the act of listening is not given the importance that it deserves. In order for a person to live peacefully, they do need to be heard.
THE ACT OF LISTENING ALLOWS A PERSON TO BE HEARD!
Listening deepens the connection between two people greatly! Listening bonds people together in miraculous ways. When two people take the time to be in conversation, sharing and talking, a synergy develops that is so special. Conversations cannot be hurried. Well, they can be hurried, but if one wants the delight and pleasure and closeness that comes from listening, then conversations should be given the time they deserve!
When listening doesn’t take place, the person not listened to may end up holding on to un-processed thoughts and feelings. When such thoughts build up after time, they can cause emotional upsets. I’ve seen this happen time and time again in classrooms. Teachers wonder WHY a child is acting out? Nine times out of ten when I witnessed an incident where a child is upset, I’ve been able to trace the ‘cause’ back to something that happened that was not addressed; something where the child felt she or he had not been heard.
THE IMPORTANCE OF LISTENING BEGINS AT BIRTH
AND CONTINUES THROUGHOUT A PERSON’S LIFE!
Recently, I had the marvelous experience of talking to one of my children about how she has fallen in love. She’s over 30 and has been SO patient in dating and finding Mr. Right. And now everything is falling into place! Although she’s known him for 3 years, they were not serious until recently. Then they became a couple! Almost immediately he was offered a fabulous work promotion but it entailed a move to another state! A BIG decision had to be made! It was amazing to listen to her talk about all the conversations they were having about the move. At one point, I had MORE questions than she had answers so I had to sit quietly and wait! This reminded me that sometimes, the process of listening requires SILENCE! So, silence it was for about 10 days! But tonight, we spent over 90 minutes on the phone discussing their trip next week out of state to locate housing and their upcoming move.
The timing wasn’t great for me, but if I had said no to the call tonight, what I would have lost out on would be irreplaceable! I would have missed listening to her talk about what furniture to take, how she found a matching piece to her wild purple flowered luggage and the huge significance of this time in her life! Yes, listening is crucial to close relationships when our children are 3 months or 30 years.
If listening to your child has never been a regular part of the relationship between the two of you, or if it is something that hasn't happened for a while, it’s never too late to begin listening or begin listening again! And the very act of listening can change lives! It can bring people together! And it can create a connection that is so strong, that is so beautiful, that is so special! AND it can all begin with just 10 minutes of listening! I call this the 10 Minute Miracle. JUST listen to a loved one for 10 minutes. Have no agenda other than listening! Listening is a miracle that can last a lifetime!
RAISING PEACEFUL CHILDREN IN ACTION:
I invite you to do the following two things today:
1. Listen to yourself in a deep and profound manner. Is there something that is unsettled within you? Perhaps it’s just one small area, but it’s still there. I invite you to sit with it, allowing it to be and see what emerges.
2. Listen to someone in your life. Is there someone is your life that needs to be heard? Is there someone who really needs YOU to listen to them, to help them live more peacefully? Listening heals!
Sharon Ann Wikoffholds two California teaching credentials and is an EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) Practitioner. Sharon has hosted The VOICE of CHANGE radio program since 2009. All programs are archived and can be heard at: www.BlogTalkRadio.com/VoiceOfChange Details can be found on her website: www.SharonAnnWikoff.com