Focusig on "What is Right"! Part II
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Focusig on "What is Right"! Part II

Focusing on “What is Right” Part II

Yesterday the title of my blog was Focusing on “What is Right!” and I shared with you the work of Kurt Wright, who spent more than 20 years working with top business leaders and their organizations, to support them in "getting on a roll" and to understand what each of us is like when we are at our best. In his work he encourages individuals to focus on "what is right".

As part of his program he invites people to answer five questions, which I shared in the blog yesterday (and are below). I invited readers to answer these same five questions in terms of Raising Peaceful Children.

Today I want to expand on those questions and offer some areas to consider looking at those questions in terms of Raising Peaceful Children. 

The questions are:

1.What do I know is already right?

2. What is it that makes it right?

3. What would be ideally right?

4. What’s not yet quite right?

5. What resources can I find to make it right?

Today, as I was reflecting on the blog I wrote yesterday and the questions from Kurt’s work, I realized there are so many diverse areas for families, teachers and educators to consider as they think about Raising Peaceful Children. I wanted to share some specifics about the questions that I found myself pondering. Here are some things that came to mind as I was reflecting on each question.

Let’s consider some possibilities as we look at each question in more depth.

1.    What do I know is already right?

Following are some questions you can consider to see that areas are already right in your particular situation. 
What is going on that is right with the children you are focusing on? 
Are they cooperative?
Are they kind to siblings and playmates?
Are they happy in general?
Do you have fun family times?
Can the children play independently?
Do they play nicely with other children?
Can you trust them to do the right thing when your back is turned?

2.    What is it that makes it right?

Think about your children from the vantage point of the above questions, and name specifically “What is it that makes it right?”

For example, how is it that they are cooperative?
What do they say or do with their playmates/ siblings that shows they are kind or helpful?
Are they contently and play happily? Is their disposition good?
Do you have game night or a weekly movie night?
Do your children entertain themselves when you are on the telephone? Or making dinner?
If they have a play-date, do they have a fun time with their guest?
When you leave the room for a while, are they still able to continue playing nicely?  

Find the specific things with your children that area working nicely for you, and write those down.

3.    What would be ideally right?

Considering where you are and where the children are, what is it that you’d like to see that would make the situation ideally right?

Would you like to see more independence?
More cooperation? More kindness? 
What are the missing pieces?

To answer this, you may sit quietly and just image your children in the most perfect setting. What would they be doing?  What would the atmosphere be like?  What are the feelings that come up for you when you visualize this? When you see the "end" in perfect view, then you know what to work toward. 

4.    What’s not yet quite right?

What is it that makes the situation, not quite right? 
Perhaps it’s the yelling from the children, children moping around?  the kids fighting amongst themselves?     Perhaps other commitments result in you not having enough time for your family? 
Name those things that are just not quite right.

5.    What resources can I find to make it right? 

What do you think is needed?  There are many areas where you can bring in outside help for support. 
Do you need to consult a specialist…a doctor? A therapist? 
Does your child need more active play?
Does your child need some supervised play-dates, to develop his/her social skills? 
Does your child need to have more self-confidence?
Do you need more one-on-one time with your child?
Does he/she need to develop better eating habits?

In order to raise peaceful children, children must be at peace in their world.  Perhaps you want to work on improving several areas just a little bit.  Or perhaps there is just one area that needs to be the focus for your attention.  Each situation is unique. 

Whatever your situation is, do remember to HONOR WHAT IS ALREADY WORKING AND BUILD FROM THERE! 

If you are just not sure where to begin, may I suggest plan a FUN outing with your children.  Set up the space so the children are free to play, laugh and have a wonderful time, with few restrictions.  I call such a place a "YES" environment.   I'll write more on this another day. 

Enjoy the process and know that life is a journey….

Sharon Ann  Wikoff

Sharon Ann Wikoff is the mother of three wonderful adult children, all living a unique and full life!  She holds two teaching credentials:  General Elementary K-8 and Adult Education: Parent Education/ Child Study.  She is author of the eBooks; The Art of Communicating with Infants and very Young Children and the Art of Listening To Children: The 10 Minute Miracle and Daddy, Why Are We Different.   In addition, Sharon wrote the column Listening 2 Children for the West Country Gazette for several years.   At KGGV Radio in Guerneville CA, she hosted the Family Hour and Kids Hour.  Since 2008 Sharon has been with Blog Talk Radio, hosting the Voice of Change.  She is an EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) Practitioner, working with families to live with greater peace, joy and love.  Sharon hosts a variety of parenting teleclasses, offers private parenting consultations and EFT session over the telephone or Skype.  She can be reached through her website:, which also contains her Blog:  Raising Peaceful Children, or at 707 820. 4212   

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