“You can only give away what you have ... If you have love, you can give it. If you don't have it, you don't have it to give.”
I have found great wisdom in Leo Buscaglia's words. And I feel that this idea is so applicable to Raising Peaceful Children.
So, I will edit it slightly for our context:
“You can only give away what you have…If you have peace, you can give it. If you don’t have it, you don’t have it to give.”
So, how does one find that inner peace? For me, a very important aspect of inner peace is having personal quiet time… that does bring peace to me. When my children were small, I found this peace – this calm – this quiet -by sitting quietly an hour or so after the children and my husband went to bed. It’s just what I needed to do to find my calm…my peace.
When the children were awake, the house was naturally busy and active and filled with all the toys and projects they were involved in at that time. After they went to bed, I finished the clean-up (the kids had helped with it prior to bed time) and then I’d sit quietly, usually in the living room, pondering the day that had just ended as well as the happening or the next day. Sitting for me, alone and quiet, brought peace and calm to my mind, body and soul.During my early years of parenting, this was my meditation.
This may not be the way that you find your center of peace and calm, because each one of us is unique and thus different things work for different people. Following are various other ways I’ve practiced finding my center of peace at various times in my life. If you are interested in finding a way that works for you, I invite you to explore some of these ways and see what works well for you. In addition, perhaps you may be inspired in a new and totally different way of finding your center of peace and calm. I’d love to hear from you about your experience.
Ways of Finding Your Unique Center of PEACE!
1. Journaling - Take time to write one, two or three pages each morning or evening about whatever is on your mind. This clears and cleans the mind, allowing a peacefulness to emerge.
2. Meditation – Pick up a book on meditation and create such a practice. One such book is Kurt Abraham's, the Quiet Mind Meditative Techniques Exercises. It can be found on Amazon.com
In addition, I've had him on my radio show several times, discussing his work. Here is the link to the show:
www.BlogTalkRadio.com/VoiceOfChange If you search for his name on the site, his programs will come up.
3. Meditation for Clearing The Mind: This special meditation can be used to release the various projects/ situations that are occupying your mind. Process: Sit quietly, following your breathe for 5 minutes. Next, see that you are in a room and all around the top of the room is a shelf with nothing on it. You see many lovely boxes on the floor in the closet. Each one is ready to hold a concern or challenge you might have in this moment. Allow your mind to return to your breathe. As a particular concern or problem comes to you, go to the boxes on the floor. Find one box and open it. Place the problem/ situation into the box. Include all aspects of the problem. Tie it was a lovely ribbon. Know that the problem/ challenge will remain there until you have time to take it out and ponder how to handle it. When you are ready to work on the problem, take the box down, open it and ponder the solution. This gives you freedom of mind when you need it and yet you have recognized the problem and thus will handle it when appropriate.
4. Physical Practice: Take up a physical practice of some kind. Various possibilities are: walking, yoga, Feldenkrais or dancing. One of my daughters has taken up a yoga practice and feels it's brought great peace and calm to her life.
5. Waking Up Early: Wake up 15-30 minutes earlier than you usually do and just remain still. This will give you some private time for planning your day or pondering whatever comes to you. I’ve often done this. It's amazing, no one knows you are awake!
6. Nature: Take time to spend time in nature each day. You could do this alone when the children are in school. If you have little ones, put them in the stroller and take a walk. Just being outside is calming. Nature is healing for all!
Enjoy the process of exploring ways of bringing more PEACE to your life. Find what is right for you. You may want to use a combination of these methods during the week, seeing what supports you best in finding your peaceful center within.
And as you feel more centered and peaceful in your life, you'll more easily be able to nurture your children in finding their center of PEACE!
As Leo Buscaglia stated: “You can only give away what you have ...
If you have love, you can give it.
If you don't have it, you don't have it to give.”
If you have peace, you can give peace!
Sharon Ann Wikoff is the mother of three fabulous adult children, all living a unique and full life! She holds two teaching credentials: General Elementary K-8 and Adult Education: Parent Education/ Child Study. She is author of the eBooks; The Art of Communicating with Infants and very Young Children and the Art of Listening To Children: The 10 Minute Miracle and Daddy, Why Are We Different. In addition, she wrote the column Listening 2 Children for the West Country Gazette for several years. At KGGV Radio in Guerneville CA, she hosted the Family Hour and Kids Hour. Since 2008 Sharon has been with Blog Talk Radio, hosting the Voice of Change. She is an EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) Practitioner, working with families to live with peace, joy and love. Sharon hosts a variety of parenting teleclasses, offers private parenting consultations and EFT session over the telephone or Skype. She can be reached through her website: www.SharonAnnWikoff.com, which also contains her Blog: Raising Peaceful Children, SharonAnnWikoff@gmail.com or at 707 820. 4212